Week 7 recap 'Survivor'

Oh, the turmoil in camp(s) after a double elimination-- feelings are hurt and egos are bruised. Man, if people aren’t careful, someone may actually start to cry.

In Espada, Dan’s getting hugs from everyone and giving himself a new nickname – “Teflon Dan”. Meanwhile, TPTB are gearing up to take out Alina next—so we can be pretty sure that won’t happen.

Over at LaFlor, Marty’s awfully proud of himself (and his cojones) for not playing the Immunity Idol, and he pledges to go after Jane for taking up arms with the young-uns.

As dawn breaks on Day 16, Marty gets all up in Jane’s grill to figure out what they hey’s going on. When he tells her he’s pretty sure she wrote his name down, she laughs… ’cause, you know, she’s busted.

And with that, we jump right into the Reward Challenge. The tribes take turns throwing a ball into the net, past the other team’s goalie perched on a post sticking out of the water. First tribe to score five times wins a Nicaraguan farm experience, complete with breakfast and horseback riding. Espada’s goalie Chase takes one in the cojones, Dan can’t jump, Fabio pees in the pool, and Espada wins reward 5-3.

At the farm, the tribe takes turns yanking cow nipples (as Grumpy so delicately puts it), while at LaFlor, Jane is giddy, having caught a handful of fish. Before she goes back to camp though, she laughs a lot to herself and cooks up a little one-person feast.

It’s the six-person feast that’s getting all the Espada folk weepy. Having not eaten for 16 days, they shed a couple of tears and pretend to bond over a cinder block of cheese.

All good things must come to an end, though, as Jeff welcomes everyone to the Immunity Challenge, where tribal immunity is back in play. The producers either got lazy or got smart, because the challenge revisits the same contraption from the season’s very first challenge, where teams had to direct water through a series of gutters. This time instead of water, it’s balls, which the teams steer down the gutters in an effort to shatter clay surfboards. Espada walks away with it, and Alina is safe for at least another three days.

The scheming continues over at LaFlor, as Brenda and Sash hatch two plans: One - tell Marty they’re splitting the vote between him and Jill, so he has to play the Idol while Jill gets the boot. Two – Sash asks Marty to give him the Idol and then promises (cross his heart!) that they’ll vote for Jill, and then at the next Tribal Council (should LaFlor lose again), Sash promises (hope to die!) that he’ll give Marty the Idol back. So Marty, in his infinite wisdom, gives the Idol to Sash. Yep—he just hands it over. In the process, Marty invents a new kind of Russian Roulette wherein you actually hand your enemy the gun, plus another five bullets just to be absolutely sure.

At Tribal Council, Marty admits his idiocy, but almost as idiotic is Sash’s Freudian slip (and Fabio’s surprisingly lucid explanation of Freudian Psychology) when he says that he’ll hold onto the Idol until he loses trust in his teammates… he means until theylose trust in him. Riiiight. Time to vote.

Just like that, the Brenda/Sash plan goes off without a hitch, and with a hug for Marty, Jill takes a stroll through the graveyard.

Next week, The Merge… and Grumpy steals stuff.

Final Vote: Jill – 3, Marty – 2, Jane – 2.

Quote of the night: Purple Kelly after losing the Reward Challenge - “Reward was for a horseback ride and breakfast. You get to milk your own milk… I guess. I don’t know if that makes sense. You get to milk your own milk, and that sounds amazing.”