The Voice Valuable Lesson

Posted by Zotta Rendevouz

Voice has taught us all valuable lesson tonight: Do not judge a show of his fierce advertising campaign. For weeks, NBC has infuriated dozens and dozens of viewers (and at least one famous person) by performing outrageous points darken the screen of his new song contest below their regular programming. But if someone did not put the first episode of La Voz, because they were tired of these ads, which lost a series that can be played only breathe a little life into the genre to sing show also saturated.

It is not, however, completely renovated on the bike. At the top of the item within two hours in the evening, host Carson Daly is set to declare, "a singing contest than anything else, because it brings the capability of the song before." Eh ... Not really. Here is an analysis of how this is too complex to show the works

1. The Voice features four celebrity coaches -- Christina Aguilera, Cee Lo Green, Blake Shelton, and Adam Levine, in case their images haven't been burned into your brainstem yet --who must each draft eight singers to form a team. They choose the members of their teams in Round One, the "blind auditions."

2. In this opening round, each judge is placed in a giant, Dr. Claw-esque chair that faces away from a stage. One by one, wannabes come out and try to wow the coaches with their voices alone. These auditioners have all been vetted already by The Voice's producers, so none of them are untalented losers being trotted out solely for our sick amusement -- ahem, Idol.

3. If a coach likes what he hears, he presses a magic button that turns his chair around; if he's the only judge that turns by the time the wannabe stops singing, that vocalist is automatically on his team.

4. But - and this is where it gets fun -- if more than one coach presses his button, the vocalist who's being fought over gets to choose which coach he or she wants to work with.

5. Once each coach has chosen eight singers, he or she personally trains the members of that team to make them better vocalists. I imagine that this stage will include at least one montage set on an obstacle course.

6. Then comes Round Two, in which each coach is responsible for cutting half the members of his or her team. Here, teammates will compete against each other inside of what appears to be a giant Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots ring. At this point, the coaches will be permitted to watch the contestants as they perform, so that whole "putting vocal ability first" thing kind of goes out the window.

7. Finally, in its last round, The Voice will start to look a lot more familiar. The 16 remaining singers will perform live. Viewers will vote for their favorites, eventually selecting one grand prize winner.

8. The victor receives $100,000 and a record deal with Universal Republic.

Did that clarify things? I'm going to pretend I just heard you say 'yes.' Let's move on.